A Month in the Life of an Entrepreneur: Week 3

The past two weeks, I wrote about the process of time tracking and identifying bottlenecks for troubleshooting in practice. If you are interested, you can check out my tracking log here. I thought I would write this series to give a behind-the-scenes view of working on my business while working in my business. 

The more my practice grows, the more leadership time it needs from me. This means that I have to cut back the amount of time I spend providing direct client services. This has been so difficult for me. It is something that I want to do and need to do and, yet, I struggle to be consistent with this boundary. For example, I said I wasn't going to take on any returning clients and yet I did. I am doing my best to be compassionate with myself for this choice. 

I have been working on this with my therapist using EMDR. My old programming is impacting my ability to lead. I have been better at carving out more time for admin since processing this using EMDR, but I think I still have a few more places where old beliefs are tripping me up. I grew up in a household where I believed I needed to perform, be responsible and achieve. I have been working since my 14th birthday. Many times, multiple jobs, even as I was in college. While this is helpful in that I am self-driven, it is problematic in that I struggle to put myself in park. I always say our strengths often create our blind spots. I am not immune to this myself. 

I have had many people tell me, "I don't know how you do all you do." I often reply, "I don't know either." There are times when some things don't get done. Some weeks I just don't have time to write a blog, for example. That usually occurs because other tasks emerged that week that were both urgent and important. 

What helps me the most to complete all the things that I do is having a set day/time allocated for those tasks. 
Wednesdays, I write this newsletter each week. On Mondays, I take care of payroll and accounting. On Fridays, I work on planning with my assistant. Immediately following my CE events, I enter the attendees information in CEBroker and file all the documentation I need to save for the event.

One of the benefits of making the time tracker is realizing just how much having those times blocked out for those tasks make in getting things done and reducing overwhelm. I have realized that the things that overwhelm me are not built into my schedule. The schedule is an evolving work in progress. 

As I reflect, I realize my schedule has gone through so many revisions over the years. Each revision requires me to let go of something. I often use the phrase, "I have to kill my babies," to describe the editing process. It is the place of disintegration which is necessary to welcome the birth of new ideas and passions.

I know it is a very uncomfortable thing to hear. What mother would want to do that? And if she did, imagine the pain and sorrow that would come with that act. When we create something from nothing - we are mothering. We are giving birth to an idea and then nurturing that idea along until it is fully mature. When it comes time for a new idea that has been gestating and vying to be born, sometimes the previous creations don't allow for that space and time. When it doesn't, it requires us to prune back or kill off the old creation.

That uncomfortable phrase really captures the emotionality of what it feels like to go through this process. It is really hard, at least for me. But I know I must do this for my own growth. My creative process must evolve. And I must let go and say goodbye in order to welcome in the new, fresh and exciting idea. As Elizabth Gilbert says, if you don't act on your creative idea the universe will give it to another who is ready to take action on it.   

Next week, will be the last in this seriated blog post. I haven't decided what I will write about yet...